Sorry, it has been a minute. Been getting oddly tangled up lately. Writing has and will continue to be slowing down. My personality has been drifting recently. Thought I’d talk a little more on race mixing because it seems to be the thing that goes over most people’s heads. Watched a Ted Talk yesterday — Asian liberal arts student (uuugh) talking about the struggles of being an Asian woman in the age of online dating. Her thesis was all over the place; it makes sense when you consider that she is forming an argument not only to defend her actions, but to brigade every possible action she could take. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lcMcvDZU3T8. “I am being objectified and fetishized because of my race” well you are using meet’n’fuck apps so that makes sense. When I look at a picture of someone, the first thing I see is the color of their skin. When I see Annabelle with her no bio, the only conclusions that I can draw about her is that she is Asian and to assign Asian stereotypes. I have to make some assumptions about her — otherwise I would be wasting my time talking to people I really shouldn’t be dating (ie asking the black girl drinking purple drank her opinion on abortion). Girls come to these apps without personalities other than “I like having fun” “I like XYZ music” “must be this tall to ride”, none of which are personalities. When I date a girl, I almost feel the need to make her discover herself. Post-modernity has already left all of these women so shallow and empty, telling them the things they would have been interested in are outdated and stereotypical. Then, all these women can bring to the table is their sex and sexuality — and just like a new car, its value is halved after the first owner. If you don’t want to be fetishized, date Asian men and develop yourself. People are depressed and broken and think a relationship will fix all of that. Honestly it is such a complex and dense issue. “What?? Asian women get the most likes on tinder?? How do we end racism??” We live in a world where race mixing is good. We’ve all heard the mutt story more than enough times. What you aren’t told is the truth — that the second cousin leads to the healthiest showdown (while also not looking abominable). I feel bad for the hapa guy, not that it is a race exclusive issue. Maybe Rand’s mating sheds weren’t that bad. If you came here for a concise argument/dialogue, you came to the wrong place. There are so many levels of ignorance in addressing these issues. Imagine that I want you to bake me a cake, but I tell you you have to substitute the milk, eggs, sugar and flour. You can certainly still attempt to make a cake, but it would be much easier to ask why. There is zero transparency in these issues. You don’t get to ask questions because that makes you racist. “Well I am racist, could I get an answer?” To admit that is to put yourself beyond dialectics — white men are the terrorists of the current age. This smooth brained Asian, her head whistling in a crosswind, can acknowledge that acts against her made off the distinction of race are racist; while justifying stereotyping other groups. This is regression. I’m getting a bellyache just watching this video. I don’t understand how internet skeptic types can use sexual dimorphism as their COD primary weapon and run and hide when someone mentions “race realism” SPOOKY! These people are a civilization destroying plague of locusts. Nihilism am I rite? Bazinga! What if when Jim Parsons got gay married he turned to his husband and said “bazinga I hate gays” and killed him? These people look for implicit meaning in the idea of life having no meaning. They think there is an overarching taste of dramatic irony that overcasts the universe. There has been an expression for that for a long time — God has a strange sense of humor. That is the gist of it. It is an atheist problem. The iconoclast of modern liberals, progressives, feminists and atheists has the most artificial, backhanded, counterfeit, double-dealing views on the humanities, only upheld by weak arguments for historical relevance and “examination of social, cultural and legal issues”. “I’m not a steadfast retard. I just refuse to acknowledge opinions and beliefs that question modern liberalism and enlightenment age egalitarianism”. The culture wars have popularized sexual deviancy and de facto state parenthood — and it is seen as a fight, not only against western ideation, but as a total affront to God. While it can be fun to hold people to their own standards and lambast modernity, the reality is that only religious people have standards. The only standard that the modern atheist has is appeal to state, “equality”, and anything else that lets them continue raping kids in their synagogue of Satan. You aren’t starting the revolution, you are soliciting nudes from minors.

Given a Darwinist perspective, since white people and black people still continue to exist with destruction of physical barriers, both groups are equal. Neither is extinct. They both continue to exist because, the sum of their attributes are equal. There is no empirical way to measure the value of a people group — especially considering the diversity that can exist in any one people group. Of course I want to say my people are the best, but doesn’t everyone? If you support the idea of diversity of people and ideas, you cannot support globalism or open-borders. Colleges have always existed as a place for people to come together and exchange ideas and always will. An idea that has died in, recent time, is the idea of the existential hero. I want to stand for something greater than myself and see that change before my eyes. Do we fight for an antiquitarian view of freedom and of greater good and of resisting daily temptations and sin, or do we fight for the postmodern freedoms of the pursuit of person pleasures, abundance, and skive? The truth is that most people want to continue to be slaves to vice, and to try and resist it today would mean the death of your ability to socialize. How could I ever go about having a normal conversation with co-workers if I didn’t watch anime, porn, NASCAR, or Fox? Beyond that, people identify with their kinks too. Exploration of kinks is like trying to draw a map for a rogue-like. You can be a slave to consistent moral behavior or you can be a slave to impulse. Which is it? Now the issue with your answer is that your morality works to justify and defend and tolerate and enable everything that is impulsive. The pursuit of pleasure is slavery to a master with a limitless appetite. We must restrict people’s ability to follow vices to make them truly free. To mindlessly seek pleasure is to be malfunctioning automata. You are reinforcing inconsistent moral principles by trying to make a society formed around vice and sin. The master of the sinner is inconsistent and incoherent — when you are watching porn, one second something may be very appealing and that changes the next moment. If you are not governed by moral principle and reason, you are governed by impulsion and retardation. A free person is someone that is not beholden to inborn or acquired desires. Stop rationalizing your impulses and admit you have a problem. Your impulses are not your identity. Trust me, you still exist outside of your preferences. Heroism is clouded in the modern day. How is a man to display chivalry and save a woman from a life of debauchery, when ever girl these days is depressant to hit rock bottom? How is a man supposed to maintain the angelic and fair nature of women, when woman have discarded that POSITIVE label all together as “dated” and “misogynistic”? When I see the new “fixed” and modern family, it is like window shopping on a life I could never have. I feel hatred for the lifestyles that have rejected me, and I feel like that is completely reasonable. Westernization was to give life purpose — purpose higher that survival of self, family, community, etc; the West is romantic and compassionate. It is the same drive we feel to wash seals after an oil spill. Right now, the seals of the West flock towards the oil spill of cultural marxism, microchimerism, and sin; and to try and resist is to fight “progress”.

Anger is easy — it is meditative. Certainly not in a traditional sense, but I can find solace in the rumination. Other times, I just cry. I’ve been crying a lot recently. It has been a few months, so my body has likely processed out all of the schizo medication. These were my thoughts going into the medication; “tomorrow will be my first day on antidepressants and it is a very scary thing. As the person that I am, the person and the mind that I’m used to having, are things that may disappear overnight, and I’m really scared of losing a part of myself permanently. There have been many instances in my life that I’d best compare to someone unempathetic to my situation to the feeling of dried sweat in your skin — a feeling of uncomfortableness. It’s something that people can bring about or situations or places but you’ll be surrounded by friends or loved ones or maybe all by yourself and that feeling will come on to you. Like you just need to get out go somewhere safe, somewhere alone. Sometimes you don’t know what you need. Sometimes I’ll be sitting by myself, and I just can’t control my thoughts. I’ll put objectives into my head of things I would like to do or should do will do have done, and those thoughts become completely uncontrollable — and the only thing I feel I need is another human there to experience with me. I’ve found very few people that I can just talk to you about numerous things. A lot of people will bring on the quote unquote dried sweat feeling a lot of situations, and there there really is no safe space. There’s just no time when I feel completely comfortable. Closest thing I’d say I have a to a safe space would be my room at home, and yet it feels uncomfortable when other people are in it. Maybe the truth of the matter is I just don’t feel comfortable around other people, but these thoughts and feelings still come to myself when I’m by myself. I see humanity declining at a rapid rate. Covid is definitely no help in that matter, and I can say confidently that my mental state has deteriorated exponentially over the course of this pandemic. My ability to either differentiate between right and wrong — reality and fiction. I as someone who’s grown up surrounded by a constant influx of media, a perpetual stream of media — the the feeling of being encapsulated in a piece of media to the point where it erodes at your mind is something that, I can really easily steep into any give any given moment; but there’s something familiar in this feeling of unease, as in these moments I can always self-reflect. I can always look inside myself and acknowledge that I am uncomfortable whether or not I should be. It’s a moment of inner dialogue that I appreciate being able to have. Myself, I cannot go second in my day without 50 voices going off — all my voice I’m not schizophrenic, but without numerous voices inside my head you know just thinking whatever could be thought, whatever can be thought; and while it it can be a lot too, it can be a lot to spoon through a lot to comb through it. I’m still thinking what I need to think, what I feel in that moment. I need to know and it it all just comes down to willpower, and whether or not you have the power over your body — whether you have the power over your mind. I feel like most people don’t. I, to many extents, definitely do not, but I feel like it’s on a very different axis than what I view on a daily basis. Moving into this new chapter of what used to be my life, I’m met with nothing but fear/anxiety, whether or not those things are mediated by medication. I’m still very scared. I’ve been going to therapy for a long time now, and I feel it has not helped at all. I’ve seen numerous different people over long periods of time, and none of it’s helped. A lot of it could be because these people are part of the problem, part of a different subset potentially. I really don’t know, but consider this my last moments as me as I know myself right now. As I reflect on my life the choices I’ve made, good or bad, I’d say that I’ve gone down a path that I can appreciate. I can look at the experiences that I’ve had, all the times I’ve been hurt or troubled — random anxiety attacks or a moment of camaraderie with my lifelong companions. I can reflect on these moments, and I can say confidently that I want to change a thing given the opportunity. Now, whether or not I’m ever able to think on the same level that I do today, I want it to be known that I’m going into this with my horizons brightened. I want to come out a better person, but the state being the way it is, in terms of medication and neurological knowledge — laziness more than likely, I’m going to be jumping around medication numerous different medications for the next few years of my life potentially. When I approach this impressionistic fuzz, I think to myself how would I know I’m on the right one. All I know is now and while a lot of it has been those dried sweat covered moments, if some of it is better and some of it is worse, how do I know? That it’s correct what is normality in that capacity with any two given points the the relation between them could be anything. If I ask you to draw a line from point a to point b, that line has now become any length. Without a third point where that point b the axis that we’re plotting on or a constant in a scientific experiment. You always need a basis to draw everything else up against and without that you have nothing. You have a meaningless point of data. I would like to be able to just take one medication and be done, but it seems like this more than likely not gonna be the reality of my situation. It’s only gets more complicated when we start talking about milligrams and dosages. More so than, my occasional unrest when it comes to dealing with my own mind. I’m just really upset with the way the world was turned out. This was just not the future that we were promised, and it’s painful to see the world unfold into increasingly negative ways each day. People go at each other’s necks on social media every second. You have to wonder just why on all these things when, when I’m doing some sort of psychedelic drug, I often find myself in what I describe as my my dream world — a partitioned section of my subconscious and areas I will often visit in reoccurring dreams, and here why I feel nothing but an interlocking connection between all humanity. This idea that, while the world may be strange at least we have each other. It’s just really not the truth. That idea that mentality is brought about through hallucinations or tapping into, you could say, a more spiritual you. Say it’s tapping into the the hive mind — the central linking element of the human subconscious, regardless it’s all a fallacy. It’s all farce. I know from my experiences there are very few people in this world that care about me on the most genuine levels. Being brought together with someone through complete circumstance is great if you continue to talk and be kind to each other, but the fact of the matter is, everyone’s world needs friends. Everyone in this world needs a lover. Everyone in this world has a father and a mother, at least at some point — and these chance situations that we find ourselves in are just that there’s very few things that bind most people to one another other than these circumstances and a need to fill these social roles that we need on a mental health level, an emotional level. Then you drift back into the impressionistic haze, and you start questioning again ‘well then what is the constant? What is the third point? What is my my plane for differentiating between a real relationship and a fake one? What are my axis’s?’ I really wouldn’t be surprised if the jig was up soon. 2020 has been a crazy year, and if it were all to end now, I would not be in the slightest surprised. It’s been like a like a Windows and a shutdown process — random bits and bytes being thrown to the wayside, categorized stored quickly; random access memory being deleted. Our world is falling apart. People are falling apart. I feel like we’re just about to get the bad ending and tomorrow, I will get my bad ending.” What a crazy nut, huh?

“just stumped into the weirdest fucking rabbit hole. I was on lainchan which is a site full of super techie guys, right. Browsing some threads as I do, and I stumble across a pic of someone’s thinkpad. It was cloveros installed on it. It is a fork of gentoo linux which is an obscure linux distro that 4chan g idolizes. I start looking at the cloveros website. I’ve been there before but I’m just curious to see if anything has been updated. The site is pretty barren. Doesn’t look like it has been updated in a few years. I decide to go back to my search. I remember that the people that make cloveros were trying to get it added to distrowatch- a website that archives information about different linux distros. Scrolling down my search, I see a result for 8kun. ‘Damn I forgot that existed’. I assume that it is likely a thread or post on g or tech. Wrong. It is a thread in a cloveros board. ‘Hmm- oh I remember this.’ I’d been there before- years ago, back before 8chan got eradicated. I am looking at the threads and actually begin to remember a few. Idk if they had been archived and reuploaded after the site went down or if people had just been making the same threads after the fact. I come across a thread from just a few months ago. Zero replies. Embedded youtube video. ‘I’ll just leave this here. And you will click it. And you will watch it.’ I click on the video. Video made around the same time. 2K views. Still cartoon girl, reminiscent of the red head from Gravity Falls, standing in front of a beautiful mountain town; wasp clothing and an armband with a strange symbol. A poorly animated mouth starts reading some 4chan copypasta of a chick showing a hkvirgin her tits, all text to speech. Uninteresting video. 20 comments. 45 likes. 41 dislikes. Subcount hidden. Something had me strangely pulled in though. I decide to look at the channel. Has around 14 uploads. Most recent hours ago. Oldest, 2 years. Nothing but still animations and text to speech….”
20200830 me before I discovered murdoch murdoch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99eXdeI2MM4 weird ass video referred to

You are dead. You are a shell and a husk of a man. Your actions are derived solely through determinisms placed by advertisers. Bacon wasn’t even breakfast food until we were “told” it was healthy. There isn’t even one set palette of diet to apply to people. It is acknowledged with diabetes — but not race. “No because all races of man are the same; the human race.” It is almost like testosterone is declining. Is that because we are telling Aryan men to eat white chicken breast? It certainly isn’t helping. The same laissez-faire types, that want to defund the police, are down with being brainwashed by known bad actors in industry. Cultural marxism tells capable women to get abortions because it is “empowering”, and so does the guy that owns the abortion clinic. “I was raped when I went to a drug filled house party!” Shut up before I rape you for real. Hypocrisy is nothing new to women or business; for both, there will always be a bent knee ready to bow to retardation. Tournament mating works identically to monopolization. Lower the testosterone, bimboify them — this is how any amount of moral tact disintegrates. Did you know that a DNA test can gauge how much you enjoy ASMR? It’s true. What race do you think likes ASMR the most? I haven’t got a clue either. On the other hand, look at IQ distribution versus lactose intolerance (image above). What do you have to say to that you sussy baka globalist? “hunter biden? phfff still not as bad as not giving out free Insulin” the western ideal has been altered and twisted beyond repair — faggotry, cuckoldry; each passing generation leaves the west more broken and hollow. All of these social policies and handouts have an end. Look at Russia where the population is too drunk to do anything. NEETs eat tendies and pump their brains with a never-ending stream of dopamine through the internet and masturbation. Society is crumbling around us. I don’t know why anyone would defends the constitution as a means of enforcing anything. Everyone seems fine with letting it be shat on and torn. Socialists are slaves to the government. Your democratic abilities mean little against braindead masses begging for “more gibs”. You libs are so quick to jump to the holocaust parable of “first they came for x then they came for y”, well what if they first came for the rich and successful — the ones pure of heart and ethic. Men who made it in the post-capitalist wasteland (small business owners). Everyone knows it isn’t the Bezos or the Gates that are having their taxes raised, its the Puerto Ricans immigrant dentist who just started his own practice. Just because you have no intention to live your american dream to the fullest, isn’t any excuse to pull others down with you. joe biden molests his own kids and he plans to do they same to america. Guy can’t even go for a drive without having to fake it with a second wheel in the car.

The idea that we are all destine to do great things, and that you must stride for as such. Compliance is not an option — venture the world with rigor and passion. The will over all else. Mind over matter.

become conscious of evil and hear the devil’s song

Society is going to shit. Civilization is collapsing. People may disagree — say this is the most progressive time in history. Others will say that things aren’t as fucked as they appear to be. Most of the people that open up to me are completely sane. Once you crack that egg, they tell you they don’t buy into any of the propaganda either. Sadly, this isn’t the case everywhere. Businesses have become so focused on college degrees because they want us all to go to college — to have our minds melted and sanded down dancing circles around the imprecision in our language. They want us to be having public sex, smoking crack in ghettos, all women paraded in BDSM gear. If this became reality, you would go along with it because you are a libcuck retard monkeylover dogfucker. Maybe some ancestral magic can guide us back to civility and normalcy. In the mean time, it all falls into your hands. Will you act or will you malinger? Everyday our bodies weaken and our minds become frail. You aren’t to blame — you have to see paradoxical morons at work, at the store, maybe even at home. It is time to get cooking.

“Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.” The Bible was pretty blunt about it. We are all born and die sinners, but we still need to acknowledge and at least attempt to avoid sin. “To say there’s a correct interpretation of the bible is silly”. Is there a correct interpretation of the Constitution? This is the argument for why we have textualism and purposivism — do we read the words and just the words or does context have any saying in the reality of those words? Poisoning the well a bit, but it is a mute point in an overarching idea. (((They))) are morphing Christianity (and all other religions, ideologies and creeds) to fit with cultural marxist ideas. The end of that line / the end result for the blind believer — faker is “I only still believe in the death and resurrection” “the law of the light is LITERALLY the only thing that matters”. Difficult to argue when the statement has some credence. Two points, I feel like a lot of these fake Christians don’t even believe that first half; and the law of the light doesn’t get us the tradition that honestly makes Christianity most important — from a purely Earthbound perspective. Now in the age of media and cultural marxism, the move towards a non-existent value/belief set for Christians is approaching nill. “Uh but there is no right interpretation, it is all up for debate”. Well if that were the case then someone saying that Jesus would be okay with you cutting off your dick and being a transsexual, then you would have been able to amass other people that shared that same belief through dialogue and scripture. Obviously there are other social reasons that would bar that as well, but that is getting into the weeds. Once that part of the religion is completely simplified to “dude just love everyone” which in large part it has, all that is left is a fundamental belief in a God. Contradictions a modern Christian must go through on a day to day basis… I conclude that most Christians are likely to, some capacity, be closet-Atheists. Diversity of peoples and ideas is a good thing and a collective consciousness all coming to believe the same things that I see as filled to the brim with contradictions, whether a clashing with old timey beliefs or contradictions internal to left wing ideology (ie be colorblind to race but also put some peoples on a pedestal), is a bad thing. I’d defined cultural marxism as a subversion of the western way of life towards a far-left leaning world — idk hard to put into words, but I think you know where I am going with that. The idea of 100% of society very quickly moving towards an ideology, from one that was somewhat recently highly praised, is very troublesome — especially when you still hold the original belief. It is subliminal propaganda. Honestly, in a country that is so stanchly divided in national elections (51% to 49%). we really should just divide up the country. “What traditions do you think are being thrown away too quickly in a way that is damaging?” Septum rings. No, but seriously what I was saying earlier… we parade gay couples, mixed race couples, BDSM, polygamy; but heterosexual, same-age, same-race relationships? “STOP DOING THAT! IT’S JUST AN OUTDATED ARCHAIC ROLE. YOU POOR WOMAN, YOUR NEEDS AREN’T BEING MET”. “I think that such and such 90s cartoon character is gay… for no reason” “hey you are a really cute boy… sure you arent trans” “men have just convinced you that you are a ‘tomboy’ we accept you, just come out”. It is pushing the same narrative. Obviously, people are being educated one way or another that “hey did you know that sometimes guys want to fuck other guys? that’s totally normal and cool 😎 if that’s what you want, I support you.” — everyone has had this one way or another (most most most of the time i know there are exceptions like schools that dont teach simple sex ed that could save lives), point being that if you are a cute boy and you post a pic of your cute boy face, people may and have cum. People may and have asked if he is trans. People may and have told the boy that when he said “no” it is because of “systematic oppression of trans people throughout history that he believes he is cis”. Most people are normal — sorry your sissification efforts on impressionable youth isn’t going over anyone’s head. You are a pedophile with a transvestite fetish. Do bad, die worse. I kinda just want to fart on jews — i think if you just let me fart on them we can get even. Ayn Rand is a whore cheating slav wicked cunt druggie.

Once you get a girlfriend, I’ll get her to cheat with me. Get you so mad you hire a hitman from the dark web to kill me. Surprise retard! It’s a sting operation, and you are going to prison. You become a little sissy girl. I get your girlfriend pregnant and leave her with the kids, while I live the life you always thought you deserved. You are nothing. Any soul or personality you may think you have is just a pretentious facade based off of what your cynical pea brain thinks is clever, profound, and smart. You think that people will gravitate towards you, perceiving their own thoughts as dumb and your thoughts as superior by merit of your own over inflated, shortsighted ego. You are a piece of shit entitled little brat. You are always asking for attention. You have terrible abandonment issues. I promise you, the only reason people give you the time if day is because you have some semblance of seniority. You act like a toddler with borderline personality disorder, and I can’t fucking stand you. Stop cumming for me because you are jealous that I have a great personality and I’m taking all your friends.

There is much to be skeptical of in this world, so it no longer surprises me to learn how many people don’t really believe in anything — even the Bible, redacted and amended for the Romans to use as a tool for control. Our own history has been obscured. What is left to believe in? What’s the point? For many of us, the roads we walk are difficult ones, but the path is always there for us to follow — no matter how many times we may fall. The good news is that the Lord can help you find your way back. Naturally, some days are harder than others, but we must try. We all have doubts. The light of the mind alone cannot burn away all darkness on this Earth. Think on it, and look in your heart — it will be for the best. When the walls come tumbling down, when you lose everything you have, you always have family — your greater family. The fire that has kept me alive is love. God’s love and love of people. You’re not so certain. Fair enough. We all go through periods of darkness. In a world filled with misery and uncertainty, it is a great comfort to know that, in the end, there is light in the darkness. In such times, we can turn to the Lord, but it’s good to have friends, and the good Lord knows there’s much to be done here.