The unrestrained collective internet, the modern Tower of Babel, has created a new female iconoclast — one that seeks especial validation without being especially unique, one that professes a love for adventure whilst hobbyless, one who oscillates between “kill all men” rhetoric and casual sex, one that is no longer confined by a sacerdotal understanding of modesty or shame but expects respect for her “spiritualism”, one that champions women’s rights and bodily autonomy but has regular rape fantasies. The narcissistic tribal ego has fed them a list of buzzwords, via Instagram, that makes the arguments for them. “Well you just sound like a Christian Fascist”. The femcel is starving for a sense of community but finds herself in transient and ephemeral guerrilla communities. Her presence is a perpetual migraine; she lives in total dissonance. Despite the inherent contradictions and the underlying fragility of her persona, she remains oblivious, cocooned in the validation of new negligent men. She remains enigmatic to the unknowing eye, but just wait until they hear about the piss jars.

No matter how it appears, she is an impulsive diva. You have very different truths.

My life has been ground to the finest powder and passed through the finest sieve. Here in the dust of my essence, I walk for eons in the ash of great expectations. Here there is no epiphany, direction or future — only unfurling expanse of decay and rot. As the sands of time slip through the hourglass, weeks turn to months, and the anguished cries of my soul dwindle to a whimper — distracting itself from the encroaching abyss of despair. Each moment demands distraction on the road to nowhere. Caught in an eternal cycle of birth and death, I am but a fleeting spark of unremarkable hue — a solitary ember amidst the vast cosmic void. I am a hamster running on a wheel. I am shackled, watching shadows dance on cave walls.

Part of how memory and the hippocampus works is that it creates predictions and expectations based on your interpretation of events and the world. When Plato wrote about forms, he elevated these ideas of objects above the objects themselves. The form is the world in your mind, the form is fairness – the form is future and past. That is the bedrock that Integralism is built on. Expectation is fascism – it is fairness within hierarchy. Fairness is romantic, romanticism is soul, and the soul is the form. “Make someone happy”. But then, the black storm cloud comes over the horizon and the future is obscured. You are made to be naive. You are made to be humiliated and rejected. There is no smile that cheers you or face that lights when it nears you. Your sheets are untucked and the warmth of a familiar blanket evaporates into the ether. You are made to feel small, trivial, and insignificant. “Your truth and my truth are a lie, as is your father’s, and his father’s before him.” We simplify reality, because our curiosity has better aims than to examine the same tulip for the thousandth time. “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” This is evil, and fairness is good. Expectations should not be shattered. Emotions — love should not be exploited. Our future becomes death. Love stops being an answer – not even a variable. Romanticism is autocracy, romanticism is military junta, romanticism is absolute monarchy. Romanticism is a song that moves between order and chaos — it is the wave moving with the moon and breaking on the shore. It is a fairy tale with a moral. It is a narrative with good guys and bad guys. It is an old man with a twinkle in his eye telling stories of fallen empires. It is a pair of blue-green eyes to come home to, and the future you build around them. But the world is not built around men, it is built around reality – nothing to cling to. The two are completely incompatible. Altruism is love. If your ideology is not humancentric, what does it serve? What does anything in life serve without a destination more romantic than oblivion? Nothing. Every step – every action carries the weight of a million black holes collapsing upon themselves. The world is encircled by a plague of infernal locusts; they block out the sun and eat the form itself. Your body is thrown into hellfire and a spiked mace is forced down your throat. Recontextualization is arduous. Who you are, that form, is gone forever.

“I don’t agree with FSF definitions… but I am going to continue using their words”. It is so obvious how new to this discourse you are. The Libre naming convention is an established FSF idea. If you disagree with their definitions, stop using their words. If Leah wants to add binary blobs to Libreboot, how about instead just join the coreboot team or make a new fork with a different name? “The GNU boot team is slow”. Wanna talk about slow? Leah was talking about getting Libreboot onto X220’s and T420’s as far back as 2017 and has only now achieved it by destroying the philosophy of the project. “B… bu… but muh compatibility?” If you want more compatibility, what you are asking for is not Libreboot. It is as simple as that. People who go out of their way for the levels of psuedo-anonymization are not going to have their hearts crushed if the Thinkpad X1 Carbon is not supported. It is the sacrifice that has, and always will, come with these delusional conspiratorial people. Wanna be anonymous online? No discord, no javascript, no instagram, no modern gaming, no facebook, etc. These are sacrifices. The people who have already given up so much to feel comfort in their isolated secure environment routing all traffic through specifically selected tor nodes to look at child p*rn are naturally going to be upset with this change — because to groom minors and to buy ingredients for an acetone peroxide bomb on the deep web won’t require another 0.2GHz of processing speed.

Humans are naturally altruistic. It is unique to humans. An animal that breaks its legs is already dead in the eyes of the pack. On the other hand as far back in human history as we can look, the mortally wounded and those born with genetic deformities often lived for much longer from the love and care of their tribe. We’ve found many examples of this from archeological evidence. It is no surprise that blue birds fly with the blue bird and that red birds fly with the red birds. All of the ants work together to make an ant hill. You might call that collectivism. I call it love. Morality and love are part of being higher intelligence — to try an dilute and dissolve that with Randian hyperrationalism will only see the rich become richer and the poor become poorer in this sick twisted dance that is social darwinism in late-stage capitalism. In Northern Europe, in prehistoric times, ostracism meant death. You’d need impulse control to not make more children than your tribe could support. You’d need impulse control to save food for Winter. Being banished in the cold months was not saying “you have to fend for yourself”, it was a death sentence. Now when we see these communal systems mirrored in the modern world, it is not a reflection of how system like welfare state has failed. It shows the lack of accountability. The state has replaced the father and the village elder. Those are people that can be disappointed. The state now is a mess heap of bureaucratic laziness. It is the people we let in — they are not cut from the same cloth. In Sub-Saharan Africa, it is not about quality of offspring but quantity. These biological impulses are not compatible with the West. The West is not some Enlightenment-age, rational, narrow-minded focus on “muh non-aggression principle” and “basic human rights”, the West is romantic and compassionate. It is the same drive we feel to wash seals after an oil spill.

What do you find keeps you in this world – tethered here with the rest of us? Consumerism, infantile notions of justice, wealth or your neverending chase of it, family, addiction, love? All are just distractions in a world whose main export is sin. Your over inflated, shortsighted ego is your only motivator – driving you to strive for “success” and “recognition”, to “prove yourself to the world”. You are a petty insect in this material world, no different from anyone else. All you and the world really care about is your own material gain and the satisfaction of everyone of your second-to-second base and heretical impulses. You cling to your possessions, your status, your power, desperate to feel important in a world that values only those who can contribute to the relentless cycle of production, productivity and consumption. Never a second to rest or breathe; or die and rot in elder care facilities, “mental health centers”, or section 8 housing on MLK Jr Boulevard. You tell yourself that “I am different”, that you are more enlightened than the rest; as if you hold the candle to see through the fog of delusion – the shadows cast by modernity. But in truth, you are just as trapped as the rest, caught in the web of plutocratic jewaucracy that surrounds us all – a running hamster on a wheel. You try to escape through drugs, through sex, through any means necessary – but in the end, you always find yourself back where you started. Alone and dreaming of other places, other worlds, alternate dimensions and time travel fairy tales. You know that there is something more, something greater beyond the narrow confines of human existence, but you cannot seem to grasp the thought and hold it for more than a second. Your self-constructed reality of distractions calls you back like the hylic you are. And so you continue on chasing after the hollow promises of past generations, filling societal roles that may as well have been stamped on your birth certificate over your name – always playing your little part in the play that is the fall of Rome. The world becomes a black hole collapsing onto itself by the weight of its own sin and corruption. The world is ending and you have been left behind. I hate you. I hate all of you. You have the mental capacity of a blind cave beetle. You might as well be blind for all you see are your own illusionary symbols. Continue to cling to your petty delusions, thinking that you are somehow special, that your life has meaning in a world that cares nothing for you. The truth I have seen in the darkness that lies in the hearts of all men is the same endless void that awaits you when you inevitably die alone. I pity you. Well, let me tell you something, you fools. There is nothing. There is no purpose, no meaning, no hope for your salvation. You were born to live and die and nothing else. Your souls will be consumed by your own endless hunger. So go ahead, keep chasing after your degenerate dreams; but know that in the end, it will all be for nothing. You will die alone, unloved, unforgiven, and forgotten, just another meaningless blip in the endless cycle of birth and death.

The White Lives Matter movement starts now! Lol jk – that is the same role reversal bullshit that the pseudo-conservatives are always spouting. “Trust the science” now that the data supports them, “the dems are the real racists” – Mgtow is literally the same as the feminist “kill all men” rhetoric with the words switched around a little. They don’t work with nuance for the same reason that their platforms are just diluted liberal ones; meanwhile, I cry reading The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. What, truly, is there left to write? Will the world suddenly change because of another paragraph from me? You see this all as an entertaining adventure. “Oh what is our narrator gonna write next?” This is nothing more than another source of media to consume with your brain, still addled by the latest episode of Stranger Things. Is there some combination of symbolism and encouragement strong enough to reverberate through this screen to awaken another you? Inside you is a full ensemble waiting for the conductor to raise his arms. The notes we compose in our hearts are a symphony — and yet, you sit in silence. Your soul is lost, and you cannot find it without a helpful light — I say in a high pitch voice with a slow rhythm. NO! You see another day without Abigail Sharipo, in bed next to you, as a day wasted. Spirituality to you is a bad shroom trip. Two words; liberal, propaganda, government, agents, mk, ultra. I’m not even going to acknowledge that it was more than two words – in fact, you aren’t even reading this. People don’t want to get angry about this anymore. I miss when God was angry. I am the voice in your head. You believe I exist because you allow me to. You don’t love me; you love the idea of me. Do you ever wonder if the universe is sentient enough to be grossed out by your personality? I am, and I am. What is cringe, is believing everything you are told by Ben Shapiro and Steven Crowder. You process their words like a chatbot. When a contradiction comes afoot, you wait for a patch and it gets redacted. Try to think outside the box. it seems childish because it is obscured by the haze of truth; a truth you once held as a child. When the world was simpler, held in its truest form; and the lies of years of traditional indoctrination and ill meant befogging of the mind. Don’t make me Hitler. You won’t like me when I’m Hitler. You want to reform the police state – but you don’t “reform” your bed in the morning.

70’s pseudo pop almost brings me to tears – the idea that freedom is this blooming idea; the world is filled with love. I wish it were true. The young girl or boy, in their underdog arch, living the time of their life as if highschool was some miraculous gift from God. A world where being hormonal was a blessing, not a curse. Maybe these are just the feelings of being young. It was a time where the women were transitioning from the husband supporting, loving, understanding housewives to the full blown whores of today. Men didn’t know it yet. Maybe that beauty is in their ignorance. How much I wish I could go back, it was a much simpler world for better or worse. Only the first inklings of the coming American totalitarian quasi-communist state had blossomed. Most of the women were still women – or waiting to be made women. It was a time where empowerment meant the right to vote and seeing that change before your eyes. Now, the only change we see is economic. Even when social change does happen, it is always negative. More child molestions normalized, more gender confusion, more dull-racism. It was a time where your stride didn’t need any will behind it. You’d make it with minimal effort and because of that, there was this transcendental peace in society. I just wish I could live like them. It was a time where you wouldn’t be slowed down. Because of today’s machine automation and an over-reliance on it, that is impossible. “But monopolies have always existed, pm” yeah but it is only recently that they have evolved to having the vast majority of the wealth. The Jew has perfected his art. The laughs and cheers of yesteryear are only echoes today – tomorrow they are the cries of your children as they are sold into an unimaginable expansion of wage-slavery. The real cry, the root of my suffering – the end of life is how this has stopped love. How is a man to love a woman when she works 40 hours a week? AND VICE VERSA! There is no shot. This entire system exists as some elaborate, ever changing conspiracy to grow the class divide. Whether or not anyone can verbalize this beyond rationality, Biden saying things about poors and blacks as if they are one and one is offensive to the populace not because there are rich blacks and poor whites, but rather because it lifts the veil on this poorly obscured ruse. All of the music today is about peach shaped asses and Obama transsexual trafficking because that is all our generation cares about, rather that is how we have been conditioned. It is nothing but sex and drugs for a social class dumbing and dumbing farther into NEETdom and welfare. The education system was built by corporatocracies for this reason and is continued by their social media. Be a big man (for you), be a lover, find some true love and understanding, and take back the controls. Crash the plane that is democracy into the homes of all the Tom Holland’s and the mixed race gems out there. I just want love.

James 5:2

The generation that eats the shoveled shlock of millennial blow-heart deadened losers sees the world only through such outlets. A written letter – words on paper, your heart and soul strung out across college rule has been downgraded to Hallmark cards and one sentence thoughts. Asking a father for his daughter’s hand in marriage? Laughable. Value and worth – more over merit, they mean nothing to the street-ware children, raised to never see a coffee bean. Love means nothing beyond emulating what you’ve seen on pornhub. Work doesn’t bring dignity. Soundcloud rapping with a guest verse from someone with a thousand more followers is all you see for your week. You need to set alarms to remember to do your laundry – and you never fold it. Romance is what you’ve seen in RomComs and anime. Strength and intelligence are “literally me”. The section 8 single mom is moved to tears when Tyrone texts her “I’ll have your daughter brought home by 2am”. Snorting cocaine off car keys is your cultural litmus test. Dad jokes, where the joke is that fathers are retarded out-of-touch clowns. The world has become an echo chamber of irony and nihilism. Everything is a rip-off of a rip-off of a rip-off. When it comes to body counts, a lot of people get upset saying it doesn’t matter blah blah blah who cares – the reality is that people can have any arbitrary reason they want when it comes to accepting or denying potential sexual partners. “Ha so you admit it pm, incels have no excuse” you say waving your finger in the air like you just don’t care. The difference is that one of these people is actively getting laid (just not married or whatever), and the other is struggling to find anything even relatively romantic in their life. Deny it all you like, sex is a form of romance. The sexual revolution has lied to you. Sex ultimately is an expression of love, and everyone deserves some of that 🙂 Redditors may accuse me of jumping from one idea to the next, and while there is likely some validity to that; it just makes me do it even more. Those that think similarly to me, i.e. most of the regular visitors, get it – BECAUSE IF THEY DIDNT THEYD EMAIL ME RIGHT?! No, no. You only email me with George Floyd memes. If that is our relationship, so be it as long as you are picking up some enlightenment along the way. I’ve been playing with AI a lot recently. I know it is evil but given that it hasn’t fully revealed itself to be Satan yet (ignore the demonic tattoo, that was a publicity stunt), I have plausible deniability. Today’s accompanying image was partially made with DALLE2 by the way. It makes sense to enjoy something evil, rather to say; if you aren’t participating in the evil, you aren’t the bad guy. It is the same argument I’d make against a statement like ACAB. So yes Gates still needs to be shot, but participating in the current dystopia requires most people to interact with evils. You can find a way to get by without? More power to you. Hopefully it won’t be long until those shackles are broken for good and the evil technology of the condom is outlawed. Remember not to stand in the shower too long, that kind of warmth will be earned when you are wed.

What is the point of any of this? Screaming into the abyss that is the internet only to catch the ears of a few redditors – maybe a twitter user now and then. This dark void started as a boys club, and much like freemasonry, it is desperately trying to rebrand. Once upon a time, a woman couldn’t post on the internet without a “tits or GTFO” reply. Now a thread is muted, the poster is banned, eight whiteknights are in the girl’s instant message, and fourteen feminist “news journals” are citing the post three years later as evidence of the “everlingering misogyny online”. There was a short time when a clairvoyant mist of arcane energy coated my brain and filled me with the Holy Spirit. I worked with passion believing that I may scorch the Earth with a mark of my existence – all of this past the age of jumping out of bed in the morning. It was a paranormal intensity that made me feel young again; it was a walking dream where I was emboldened with spontaneous Lovecraftian awareness. This is the closest I’ve been to genius, on the internet and IRL. Coworkers would often guess my IQ, after I’d give them a brief lecture of whatever it was that interested me at the time. Everything used to be so on-the-edge-of-your-seat juicy with gushing back and forth exchanges. Now these novelties have been replaced by the bottle. In some ways, I wish I had the heart to push on. I resent this feeling. “Well what exactly has changed?” you may ask. I am no longer mentally ill, and with its passing has gone all of my interest with life. How counterintuitive. The rumination has finally gone silent. What a strangely wonderful time. My intent in writing this article was to give an honest account of my experiences, and make my thinking clear. I am trying to bring back that magic, but it is not just my mind against me – but the new oligarchical internet police as well. I am surprised that this site has survived as long as it has. I cannot stand a lot of things about WordPress, but I have to give them props where props are due – they are rather lax with their ToS. This doesn’t help with the larger narrative of pushing my voice. I still stand by everything I’ve said here and where I don’t, I update posts a word or two at a time. Whatever. Expect even slower posts from now on.

Don’t take any of what I say as advocacy for closet conservativism. Perhaps a new mythology would help to build a post-dystopian modern world — one that returns to deifying Hitler’s instead of the virtue of your insufferable puritanical iron-willed stupidity. Some sort of supra-human consciousness, where the last vestiges of bipartisanship and common sense are bound by flesh and blood. A new form of supreme patriarchy, where your God, aka, me, has absolute dominion, and when I say ‘supreme’, we mean ‘divine’. Every waking moment, now, is consumed with suffering. How can we embrace the dragon that is the human condition and prosper? Prosperity isn’t in the eternal swine carnival. No more blatant soul-demolishing bullshit – at least not this weekend. Why not seek the quiet grace of ancient tribal paradise? The taboos of religion need to be shed. I have met so many people, too many have come to believe that liberals are their enemy, simply because the two do not agree on my beliefs. All is forgiven. I have enjoyed debauchery, lust, jealousy, envy, they are human emotions after all. There is nothing wrong with emotions. It is only when they are rationalized by the “I love everyone”-left, that it spirals into a linear beam focused on child molestation. We’ve mythologized the idea of freedom in the minds of the youth with “I have a dream” speeches and the falling of the Berlin Wall. It turns out that the most evil, self-righteous, blight — that permeates like an analgesian aerosol, was democracy. It strips you of the capacity to see through the fog of delusion. It is the embrace of the Great Retard — a human mutt amalgam of socially destitute outcasts from the absolute depths of wickedness. They don’t know what love is, they don’t know what liberty is, they don’t know what suffering is. These are all fluorescent ideas they’ve only seen expressed through seasonal anime. Entire families, of primarily women, sucking at the tit of the rabid wolf. He serves only the lowest common denominator, and nourishes them with anti-anxiety pills. They grow an all-night-cannibalistic hunger for the destruction of pre-established norms. Their heartless exuberance at the sight of Mr. Mailman dropping off the monthly tug-boat — like a vulture agitated and impatient waiting for the lion to finish his deserved supper. My speech may sound niggling, but did you earn your meal either?